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LOVE

by Nebal Maysaud

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    Live Recording from my Senior Recital at Lawrence University, titled A Night of Infinite Resignation, on April 9, 2017. Featuring various Lawrence University Students.

    Special thanks to Anmol Gupta for the album art and for his help mastering these recordings.

    Please look at the individual tracks for more information, lyrics, and who is featured!
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1.
With this fire, I shall burn down the rewards of paradise so you shall no longer worship for hope of reward, but simply for the love of God.
2.
3.
4.
And with this water, I will douse the blazes of hell so that you shall no longer pray from fear of God.
5.
Song for a Small Guest Alan Kurdî (2013-2015) Seaweed followed the law. It released you to waves bussing your small body down, down dark currents, silver minnow tunnel. Your red shirt swallowed the Aegean, billowed and swelled, but your shoes stayed on. By them the sea knew your refuge dream, restored you to shore so your father Abdullah could find you, a guest of the sea. Without guests all houses would be a grave, the poet wrote making a worm from mist, a bird from sand. What prayer transforms this empty castle guards watch, ignorant of the gift to shelter each other? Who will help close, open, close your velcro laces for the journey your father dares for your sake? You, a gift loved with milk cake and honey. You, names altered to keep you safe—not Mohammed, Jesus. Not Muslim, Christian. Hush don’t bother now as white tourists gather multiplying your image on their little screens to console each other. You are not their orphan of beach foam, Alan flag bearer watching from the lap of God. -Jennifer Kwon Dobbs
6.
Kɛʔsi wɑ Xɛmri Kɛʔsi wɑ Xɛmri w’ɛl nadimu θɛlæθɑtun, w’ʕɑnel mɑ’ʃuqɐtufɪ’l mɑħɑbɑti: Rɑbiʔɑ. Kɛʔsu’l mɑsɑrɑti w’ɛl nʕimi judirɪhɑ, sɑqɪl mudæmi ʕlel medɐ mutɐtæbiʕ. Fɛʔiðɑ nɑˈðˤɑrtu felɐ ʔʊrɐ ʔɪlɑ lɑhu, wɛʔiðɑ ħɛdˤartu felɐ ʔʊrɐ ʔɪlɑ mʔɑ. jɑʕðɪli! ʔɪni ʔuħɪbu dʒɛˈmælɑhu! tɑlɑhi, maʔʊðni liʕðlikɑ sæmiʕ! kɛmbɪtumɪn ħɪ̈rɑqi, wɑ fɑrtˤi tʕˈʔaluqi, ʔʊdʒri ʕjunɑ mɪn ʕjunɪl dæmiʕ? lɑxabrɑti tɑrqɑ wɛla wɑsˤlilɑhu jɛbqɑ wɛla ʕjnil qɑriħɑ hædʒiʕ (My cup, my wine, and my partner make three, And I, who long for the beloved am: the fourth. The cup of pleasure and bliss is passed around, By the bearer of wine, again and again. If I look, I am not seen, except by him. If I am present, I am not seen, except with him. Oh, you who mock me! I love their beauty! By Allah, my ears do not hear your voice! How many nights, burning from passion, Have fountains flowed from my eyes? My tears do not dry, nor does my union with him Endure, and my eyes will never rest peacefully.) -Rabi’a Al-Adawiyya

about

In 2013, a study was published about mice. Researchers tortured mice as they were fed strawberries and studied their children. Not only did the original mice fear the smell of strawberries but their children and their children’s children did as well. Thus, we have confirmed the epigenetics of pain and that is where this story starts. Nebal has crafted this series of works to study radical trans-temporal queer pain.

Nebal asks his audience to answer questions that reach the core of what it means to be human; Where does pain come from? How are we to heal if we are historically and actively marginalized?

When we meet Hasan and David, we are encapsulated by the way two men can suffer as they say goodbye. This moment, hundreds of years ago, mirrors the pain that Abdullah feels as he honors his lost son, Alan. Both moments echo the dichotomy of public versus private. Hasan and David’s secret relationship is hidden from their public lives; Abdullah, struggling with the appropriation of his son’s death on a Greek shoreline, takes a moment to grieve privately. These painful moments are tied together through Rabi’a whose soul in death, in Nebal’s words, shattered into a million pieces and lies within every queer body. I invite the audience to find the difference between suffering and love themselves and to take with them the interconnectedness of the world that Nebal has exemplified before them today.

-Naomi Oster

I would like to thank Asha Srinivasan for all her wonderful work this term to make this project happen. I also, of course, cannot thank my performers enough; they took on this project with such passion. I am honored to have worked with them. And of course, most special thanks to Naomi. Without her, this production would not have been possible. Thank you also to Kenneth Bozeman, for his work with Nolan on Song for a Small Guest and Matthew Michelic for his help on Electronic Battleship. Finally, thank you to Karen Carr, Dirk Vorenkamp, and Connie Kassor, whose teachings on philosophy, Buddhism, and Abrahamic faiths permeate this entire recital.

-Nebal Maysaud

credits

released August 4, 2017

Nebal Maysaud, Composer and Co-director
Naomi Oster, Co-director
Anmol Gupta, Recording and EP consultant

Maddy Brotherton, Violin
Joan Shalit, Violin
Nat Sattler, Viola
Henry McEwen, Cello
Sean Goldman, Percussion
Anmol Gupta as David
Yonah Barany as Hasan al-Basri
Luis Gonzalez, Guitar
Lorna Stephens as holy soldier and traveler
Alex Quackenbush as holy soldier and traveler
Ethan Valentin, piano
Nolan Ramirez as Abdullah Kurdi
Elijah Kuhaupt, piano
Keira Elaine Jett as Rabi’a Al-Adawiyya
Madeleine Moran as traveler
Sam Stone as holy soldier
Brian Mironer, percussion
Kelci Page, percussion

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Nebal Maysaud Washington, D.C.

Knave. Culture war grifter. they/them. Free Palestine

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